Mom's Scarf

I have a bunch of pictures to post from the fun weekend, but I just had to share these from tonight. Charlize loves to wear my accessories (I know thats a rare occasion, but when I do she totally notices). She was playing with my scarf, so I just thought I'd try it out on her. She wore it around the house for quite a while, reading and playing. It's that same Skippy Jon Jones book- and her favorite page is where "hes sniffs near and far" and will make the sniffing sound when we read it. This scarf is huge and she really didn't seem to mind it. :) What a doll!

Some Projects

I finally got pictures hung in my house! I know its not much but, it took me months to find frames that I liked (they have brushed edges of red showing through) and then it took me over a month to get them hung. Pictures taken by kwBale and Angie Seare.

umm, pardon my lack of cleaning that mirror, before I took the picture. It happens right? ;)

I found {RE}cycled Consignment in Cedar City through a random blog and I was so excited to go over the holiday weekend. Its similar to Urban Renewal here in town (I love that store). I'm not very ecclectic in my decorating style, but I love to see the creativity that they have in their displays. Anyhow, at {RE}cycled I found this barn door - I know totally me. I want to make it into a headboard for Charlize's bed. And, its cute on both sides! It'll also work for photography, so it worked out to be a great find.

Cooking and Reading

On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Charlize goes to Gma and Gmpa's house and she is usually pretty tuckered out by the evening because she has played so hard during the day. (She's finally starting to take better naps while there, but still). She was pulling on Nate's leg while he was making fajitas, so he let her help make the muffins. Plopped her right on the counter and let her stir. Don't worry I cleaned the counter well after since her shoes were one, but sometimes you just have to go with it. :)

These pictures are actually from last night. Charlize loves to read and will constantly bring us books to read to her. She backs up and plops on our lap. Have you heard of Skippy Jon Jones? He is a cute little cat that thinks he's a chihuahua. She loves them. And its so cute to have Daddy read to her! In the top right picture, she's grabbing he belly and saying 'ho, ho, ho' like Santa. She'll do it at the slightest suggestion of belly. :)

I was browsing ideas to paint my kitchen cabinets and stumbled across this sign,

that makes me smile:

From Red Letter Words

Found on another decorating/crafting blog The Lettered Cottage

Yes, I know. Take a deep breath and smell the flowers. Life is beautiful.

My New Years Resolution

• Be content with where I am in my life.

Yep, only one. Its a pretty big one for me. Its been an internal battle that I've been dealing with and I have to make it a goal to change my thinking.

Don't get me wrong, I know I am blessed. I have a loving husband, a beautiful baby girl, health for us all and safety. I have an education and we both have jobs. We have a house, we live in America and there are many people around us that love us.

I don't have a desire to have massive wealth or fame. I am grateful for my career, but what I really want is to have more time to be a mommy.

Yes, we bought our house before the market took a nose dive and lost the value out from under us. I wanted desperately to go part time after I had Charlize, but there were some bills to take care of. We payed off Nate's truck and traded in my Murano and the only way his business could help make the payments was to get a truck. Ok, one bill down but the mortgage still had to be met. So, even though I was offered a part time position I couldn't take it. I had kinda started to get into photography as a business and thought that perhaps I could slowly turn that into something that would help me later on.

The Kindergarten/Reading Recovery position came open a month before school started and I jumped at the chance knowing that it was the only outlet for going part time in the future and to get amazing reading training at the same time. I *LOVE* what I am learning and I simply adore teaching Kindergarten! It has been an amazing learning experience but I have been SO absolutely, overwhelmingly consumed with everything being so new and feeling so inadequate. I actually went on anxiety medication to help me get through everything that was on my plate. We were turned down from refinancing and then come to find out we don't qualify for loan modification because we haven't had a change in income. We are keeping our fingers crossed that Nate can get the lineman apprenticeship, but still no word. Like many others, Nate's business has slowed and its only making the payments on the new machine and building he put up this past year so that hasn't shown much relief either.

I have felt so stuck, desperate and frustrated. I feel like I am working so hard and yet what I'm working for isn't working out.

Alright, I'm not making this a pity party - I just needed to vent some feelings. I even feel selfish for thinking it at times. Maybe I should have made my goal to have more patience. :)

I feel like I need to explain a little more for why I even started to do photography as a business. I was working for a way to help me go part time. I love it (not the business side of it) and enjoy the creative release that it has given me. It has even pushed me out of my comfort zone to talk more, make others feel comfortable to get the image I'm looking for and something that they'll enjoy having. If you're reading this, your a friend of mine (another perk to having the blog private) and please know that I would never be offended if you didn't have me take your pictures or even if you don't like what I do. Please let me know if there's something I can do for you (working out prices and such) because I don't think that anyone should go without pictures because they don't feel like they can afford it. Believe me - I know how frustrating it is to feel like I couldn't go to someone because I couldn't afford them. In reality I should be like the others and charge $500 for family pictures to make it going part time. But I can't justify spending that much money, I can't hardly ask someone else to. I know there are plenty of professionals out there saying that it weakens the industry, but I'm not trying to. I just think that there should be some options at different price points.

As for me, I'll keep working on my goal. One day I'll be able to spend more time with my own babies. I know being a stay-at-home-mom has its own challenges and difficulties. I don't want to give up the training and learning through teaching that I've acquired. I just have a slight shift in focus.

who knows, perhaps we should just take the leap that many others have and just go part-time with a prayer that all will work out. We've done good at staying out of debt and making all our payments, so somewhere there has to come a break. :) I'll be optimistic that it'll happen.

Rub-a-dub-dub at 15 months

To tell the truth, I have stopped counting months so it was a little brain power to calculate it. :)
I haven't been doing well at keeping up each month, so I thought I'd do it now.

(Yes, that is a big Owie on her head. We were up at the arena and she was sitting on Jess' bike. I propped her up against my leg and as I turned to look at the steers, she fell around my leg into the only pile of rocks around. Yes I felt horrible! It has since healed up nicely but urgh that was such a yucky feeling !)


Charlize knows what she wants and is not afraid to say "no" if she doesn't want it. She loves anything soft and will rub her face on it to feel it on her cheek. She loves to sleep and says "nigh-night' in a sing song voice when we put her down. She loves to have her blankets to sleep with and when we get her out of her crib, she hands us her blanket to cuddle with. She loves to brush her teeth and constantly goes to get ours out of our drawers for her to use.

Charlize has figured out how to climb up on the trunk/toy chest in our living room and onto the couches. I have caught her trying to climb up her bookshelf to get the last book and my sister found her trying to climb out of her crib. She is definitely determined. She can now open doors in our house (we have the lever-type handles).

Her *FaVoRiTe* thing is milk. She drinks SO MUCH milk, that poor belly is rock hard and we wonder how she could even attempt to drink more, but she always finds room. She love to eat maccaroni & cheese, jello and scrambled eggs (not all together of course). She loves to draw and also spill her sippy cup to push the water around in a mess.

She is a collector - bringing things to me and if I try to put it away she gets upset and brings it right back. She loves to wear her coat and get going. She gets restless if caught in the house too long. The moment that Nate puts his cowboy hat on, she won't leave his side because she knows its time to go ride horses.

She loves to toddle around the house from room to room with me. She knows which drawer has the embellishments in my craft closet and she loves to pull them out. She loves to help Nate cook and me fold the laundry. She loves to get in my necklaces and proudly walks around the house with them on.

Charlize says: off, this, no, Gmpa, Poppa, Dadda, Momma, horse, pretty, uh oh, and is constantly gibbering away. She folds her arms to pray, uses right and left hands evenly and *lOVeS* to dance. She is starting to get a noticeable amount of blond hair, with a distinct duck tail curl in the back. I can fluff it up in the tub, but it doesn't last very long after it dries.

First 2 Weeks in January

We are lucky to have a few warm days here and can enjoy riding in the warmth. :) Charlize loves to ride by herself and yep, it looks like she's working on that Rodeo Queen wave already. ;)

Yet again, anything with handles is a purse. She was frantic to get to hold the bag so she could put her arm through it.

One Saturday, I got to get together with Ashley and Angie for lunch at the Pasta Factory. It was really fun to catch up on what's going on in our lives and get a little girl time in.